Monthly Archives: April 2012



Last night, I was under the blankets getting ready to sleep when my upper thigh decided to itch badly. Obviously, having an itch means you have to scratch it because it’s damn, straight itchy. So yes, of course I did scratch the itch. (What the hell.)

My mother then decided it was the right time to barge into my room, without knocking and without shouting on the other side, “I’m coming in!”

 And all I heard her say was, “What the hell are you doing?!” That was probably the first time I heard her screech that high and it was traumatizing.

 I can’t believe that she would actually think that I would masturbate in the middle of the night! I’m a fifteen year old girl and I don’t touch myself in the middle of the night because I’m not watching hot guys strip themselves! Seriously, mom, whyyyyyyyyyyyy?

 I think I was more disturbed than her. Fml.


Well, this is awkward.


Awhile ago, I was looking for teenagers that I could talk to in this website. I went over to the forums section and posted a topic. I couldn’t think of any catchy title that could give me friends in less than an hour or so, so I settled for something like, ‘Teenage girls? Where they at?’

Oh gosh, I never really expected that someone would actually call me, indirectly though, creepy. I already stated there that I’m not some naked drunkard on the street, I clearly said that I was merely fifteen! I just wanted to make friends, what the hell.

I seriously think that  I’ll be forever alone, like in, forever.

Bringing The One-Sided Love To An End


Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like reaching an unreachable star from afar. That is how I look at it; chasing the unchasable with all your might but still end up empty-handed.

Sure, the love I feel makes me happy but deep inside, when I try to think of it and examine the whole situation, I am actually bleeding because  I am fully aware that he will never be mine, NEVER…

People may call me stupid for loving a man who doesn’t love me back. But I think that is what happens when you surrender everything to the thing called love, you make yourself blind and deaf. But love isn’t always like this of course, this is just one of the many faces of Love.

One-sided love…a term that was once alien to my ears but now, I completely understand what that term means. Giving everything to someone…

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death on April fool’s day.


I think a little part of me just died last night.

I swear, it was like watching an eighty seven layered jenga fall off for no apparent reason. Watching your hard work just crumble like that was how I felt last night.

 Regina George FTW!

At one in the morning, Matthiew messaged me that Katy died, her container fell and killed her. Bloody hell, I couldn’t believe it! My eyes started to water as I remembered the time we both bought our pets, how could he do this to Katy? I thought about the excitement we both felt when we were saving money to buy something that we wanted, and to know that it would be gone just like that really broke my heart. Dramadramadrama.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, he told me that he was in a relationship already. At this point I was confused, sort of. Maybe this was a message given to me so that I could stop expecting and hoping that one day we can go out like a happy couple. Maybe this was a message that would make me open my eyes to reality that the image of us together was completely impossible. Maybe we were just destined to be friends in the first place, and that I have no other choice but to accept that.

But I couldn’t burn the image of Matthiew being in a relationship with another girl in my mind. Because in my mind there was only Kim and Matthiew and Matthiew and Kim, ’till the end of the world and ever since the beginning. I know that I sound really stupid right now and desperate, maybe, but that’s just how I feel. I’ve been chasing him for three years and letting go, is hard.

(Dear Matthiew, you are stupider than a cow that ran out of grass.)

Because I don’t want this one-sided love affair to end just yet, I have to fight for it. Even though I’ll end up empty handed in the end, that’s okay because maybe, during the middle of this so-called war, my feelings may have reached him, and that’s better than doing nothing and weep. So, enough of this drama. The alarms have already went off signaling for war.

So, I cursed at Matthiew.

This was how our conversation turned out last night:

Matthiew: I’m in a relationship.

Kim: But you said you wouldn’t!

Matthiew: Things change.

Kim: omg u liar!!1 i cant believe u can do dis 2 me *sob* *sob *sob*

LOLJK, I’m not that clingy. Instead I told him to f-ck off and other curse words, because Matthiew’s stupid for going out with a girl. (Other than me, heh.)

And then, the next message caused the death of moi.

From: Matthiew

Recieved: 01:52


Damnit, I told you I’m in a relationship.


What the flying f-ck just happened.

At first, I was thinking, ‘Dude, this guy is making extremely lame excuses for a joke. What the hell, it’s not even—,” And it hit me, ‘OMGOMGOMG ITS APRIL FOOLS DAY! OMGOMGOMG!

That cunning little son of a beep. The drama was all for nothing! What the…

I was literally screaming my head off at one in the morning.

I even embarrassed myself for sharing this with my friends before I found out that he was kidding. I was crying my eyes out while texting them. I could just imagine myself last night.

 Anyway, my eyes are really sore right now and I probably look like Yoda or something weird.

And mehged. CL, baby, where are you?