I think a little part of me just died last night.

I swear, it was like watching an eighty seven layered jenga fall off for no apparent reason. Watching your hard work just crumble like that was how I felt last night.

Regina George FTW!

At one in the morning, Matthiew messaged me that Katy died, her container fell and killed her. Bloody hell, I couldn’t believe it! My eyes started to water as I remembered the time we both bought our pets, how could he do this to Katy? I thought about the excitement we both felt when we were saving money to buy something that we wanted, and to know that it would be gone just like that really broke my heart. Dramadramadrama.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, he told me that he was in a relationship already. At this point I was confused, sort of. Maybe this was a message given to me so that I could stop expecting and hoping that one day we can go out like a happy couple. Maybe this was a message that would make me open my eyes to reality that the image of us together was completely impossible. Maybe we were just destined to be friends in the first place, and that I have no other choice but to accept that.

But I couldn’t burn the image of Matthiew being in a relationship with another girl in my mind. Because in my mind there was only Kim and Matthiew and Matthiew and Kim, ’till the end of the world and ever since the beginning. I know that I sound really stupid right now and desperate, maybe, but that’s just how I feel. I’ve been chasing him for three years and letting go, is hard.

(Dear Matthiew, you are stupider than a cow that ran out of grass.)

Because I don’t want this one-sided love affair to end just yet, I have to fight for it. Even though I’ll end up empty handed in the end, that’s okay because maybe, during the middle of this so-called war, my feelings may have reached him, and that’s better than doing nothing and weep. So, enough of this drama. The alarms have already went off signaling for war.

So, I cursed at Matthiew.

This was how our conversation turned out last night:

Matthiew: I’m in a relationship.

Kim: But you said you wouldn’t!

Matthiew: Things change.

Kim: omg u liar!!1 i cant believe u can do dis 2 me *sob* *sob *sob*

LOLJK, I’m not that clingy. Instead I told him to f-ck off and other curse words, because Matthiew’s stupid for going out with a girl. (Other than me, heh.)

And then, the next message caused the death of moi.

From: Matthiew

Recieved: 01:52

01-04-2012

Damnit, I told you I’m in a relationship.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY! 🙂

What the flying f-ck just happened.

At first, I was thinking, ‘Dude, this guy is making extremely lame excuses for a joke. What the hell, it’s not even—,” And it hit me, ‘OMGOMGOMG ITS APRIL FOOLS DAY! OMGOMGOMG!‘

That cunning little son of a beep. The drama was all for nothing! What the…

I was literally screaming my head off at one in the morning.

I even embarrassed myself for sharing this with my friends before I found out that he was kidding. I was crying my eyes out while texting them. I could just imagine myself last night.