Category Archives: FML series.

it’s just Friday the 13th

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On the way home today, I sent a text to my friends about how stressed I am. Well, of course some of us, when stressed, tend to use explicit language to describe how our day went or to just use it for no apparent reason. So, like, one of my friends replied and he said, “Kim, why are you sending your group messages to my father?” And I was just like, “Oh no. Not again.”

Turns out, I accidentally saved his father’s number instead of his during that one time we exchanged digits. I’ve been sending messages to him for a month. I wonder why these kinds of things always happen to me. Well luckily this time, his father didn’t get mad at me for cussing. My friend told me that his dad found my problems to be kind of amusing.

After that scenario, my brother and I were eating empanada, and they were really hot. (Like in a scale of 1-10, I would give it an 8) But I was being the stupid me again, I tried to impress my younger brother that I’ve eaten hotter things than this.

“Don’t eat that,” he said as I was about to bite into the empanada.

“Why not?” I replied.

“I think it’s really hot.”

Scoffing, I said, “Dude, hot is like, my middle name.” And I took my first bite.

And that’s how I burnt my tongue.

Maybe that’s just how things rolled for today since it’s Friday the 13th and all, but meh, whatever. This day totally sucked.

And another scenario, after school ended, I waited under the rain for an hour just to get a ride, and it suuuuuucked because I was drenched from head to toe. And, I saw a black cat. And it was trying to poop infront of me. Fml.

my friend’s dad & I & profanities.

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Last night, I ranted to my friends about having not enough money to buy myself a new phone. I sent them messages about how being penniless is hard, and stuff like that. My messages were so full of hate that it contained not one, but a dozen of curse words. I don’t know how I did it but I successfully cramped up a hell lot of profanity in just a single sentence. (Though that’s nothing to be proud of, really.)

Apparently, one of my friends’ dad read the message and he scolded me. Through text messaging. How unbelievable is that? “Who is this? How dare you send my daughter that message you rude child.” He replied, and I was just like woaaaaah. I was just so mindblown.

First I panicked. I thought, What if he’s gonna barge in my house and tell my parents? What if he’s gonna complain to the school? What if I get expelled?

And it took me about half a minute to realize how stupid I just sounded. And it took me another half a minute thinking about how I can get away, unscathed.

(Deny, deny, deny…)

I texted back with a, “Who is this? Isn’t this to be [insert random girl’s name here]’s phone?” I hesitated at first before sending, wondering what would happen if he wouldn’t believe me. But I still sent it despite knowing that I could get into a much more problematic situation.

“No, this is her dad.” He instantly replied. I didn’t know which one was worse; her dad reading the message or her mom. But either way, both of them reading the message I sent her was still embarassing.

“Oh. I got the wrong number. Wrong send, sorry.” I lied and he never replied back. Did he just fall for it? He never replied back, so I’m assuming he did. A couple more minutes passed by until I let out a shaky breath. Thank God that’s over.

Even though I got away with the situation, I still feel ashamed for being caught cursing– by an adult nonetheless. It made me feel dirty and just bad, which kind of sucks.

But anyways, from now on I’ll remember not to send her any messages. Especially the ones that contain profanity. Fml.

FML: MY MOTHER THOUGHT I WAS MASTURBATING! WTH?

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Last night, I was under the blankets getting ready to sleep when my upper thigh decided to itch badly. Obviously, having an itch means you have to scratch it because it’s damn, straight itchy. So yes, of course I did scratch the itch. (What the hell.)

My mother then decided it was the right time to barge into my room, without knocking and without shouting on the other side, “I’m coming in!”

 And all I heard her say was, “What the hell are you doing?!” That was probably the first time I heard her screech that high and it was traumatizing.

 I can’t believe that she would actually think that I would masturbate in the middle of the night! I’m a fifteen year old girl and I don’t touch myself in the middle of the night because I’m not watching hot guys strip themselves! Seriously, mom, whyyyyyyyyyyyy?

 I think I was more disturbed than her. Fml.

Well, this is awkward.

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Awhile ago, I was looking for teenagers that I could talk to in this website. I went over to the forums section and posted a topic. I couldn’t think of any catchy title that could give me friends in less than an hour or so, so I settled for something like, ‘Teenage girls? Where they at?’

Oh gosh, I never really expected that someone would actually call me, indirectly though, creepy. I already stated there that I’m not some naked drunkard on the street, I clearly said that I was merely fifteen! I just wanted to make friends, what the hell.

I seriously think that  I’ll be forever alone, like in, forever.